Announcing Our Newest Campaign for Public Office

Markets were closed on Monday. So, we turn our attention to other things. Our campaign to replace Ben Bernanke as the next head of the Fed went nowhere. The phone never rang. Instead, the post went to Janet Yellen, a woman who looks like she would make a nice fraternity housemother. 

But we haven't given up on a career in public service. Yes, dear reader, after 40 years of laboring in the hard ground of the private sector, we now aim for something new. We want to confront the issues of the day and do our part. We want to get involved in the major challenges of our time and "make a difference." 

Lately, we've been inspired by the office-holders who unselfishly "give back" all over the world. These role models incite a longing to join the ranks of the civic minded – those who work for the benefit of others, not just for themselves. Also, we want to wallow in the public trough, feed on the government teat and enjoy the perks of high office. 


Smoking Something Funny

Like the mayor of Toronto. We don't smoke crack here at the Diary. But who can honestly say he doesn't like to get drunk once or twice a week? (And if some major crisis arises during our term in office, we hope to be at least as inebriated as Rob Ford at the time.) 

Or how about the governor of New Jersey? Chris Christie denies that he had anything to do with closing access lanes on the George Washington Bridge. But that's just another perk, known well to kings, mafiosos and mayors everywhere. 

"Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest," asked Henry II in 1170. A short while later, the archbishop of Canterbury was dead. "What can we do about these jerks in Fort Lee," Chris Christie might have asked? Before he knew it, the traffic over the George Washington Bridge was hopelessly snarled.  If elected, we will intend to pose a few questions of our own… 

"What do you mean no one has audited Tom Friedman's tax return?"

"Why did Sweden's central bank award Paul Krugman the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics? Can't it take it back?" 

"Will no one rid the nation of these zombie banks?" 

And that's just for starters… 

When we look overseas, public service looks even more attractive… 

President Clinton had his student intern. Governor Schwarzenegger had his housekeeper. But they were tawdry and lame compared to what a European office holder pulls off.  How about prime minister of Italy, for example?

For years, Silvio Berlusconi held his famous "bunga bunga" parties, with teenage hookers such as Ruby Heart Stealer. He didn't have to lie about never having "sex with that woman." He didn't have to issue a public apology. He could just enjoy the perks of office that were available to him.

But our favorite is French president François Hollande…


Taxes, Headaches and 'Gotcha' Contracts

We lived among the French for 15 years, at least. (We stopped the clock when the French IRS audited us.) We learned their language and their ways. One thing we learned was that we couldn't do a worse job of running the country than Francois Hollande. You have to give the man credit, though. He is smart. He can be charming and witty. But in matters economic, he has nothing to guide him other than crackpot Keynesian theories and empty jingoes of France's socialist elite.

That is why Paul Krugman was so cheesed off when he read the paper last week. He discovered that Hollande had tacked right. Hollande noted that France's focus on the demand side hadn't worked out so well.  France's unemployment rate, for example, is twice as high as its next-door neighbor Germany. S&P's recently downgraded France's sovereign debt one notch from AA+ to AA. And anyone who has tried to start a business in France, as we have, would rather not do it again. 

If you fail, they punish you with taxes, administration headaches and "gotcha" union contracts. If you succeed, on the other hand, they reward you with taxes, administration headaches and "gotcha" union contracts. That doesn't stop France's well-educated and dynamic entrepreneurs, though. They still start up new businesses – in Britain and the US!

Krugman thought it was a "scandal" that Hollande was abandoning his claptrap principles. But our old friend Michel, on the scene in Normandy, reports that the whole thing is not so much scandalous as fraudulent. "There is no real shift to the right," he tells us. "Instead, Hollande is just doing what he always does: throwing a bone to some of his friends in big business without undertaking any really major reforms." 


A Powerful Aphrodisiac

But what we admire about Hollande are his priorities. While all this is going on, the president of the Fifth Republic and leader of Europe's second largest economy still finds time to get away on his scooter.  He leaves the Élysée Palace… and his "first lady" in the "madame wing"… to sneak off to spend some quality time with Julie Gayet, a beautiful, young actress.

This left said "first lady," Valerie Trierweiler, otherwise known as the "Rottweiler," so shaken and humiliated that she had to be checked into a hospital for "sleep therapy" where she still was as of yesterday. The voters would be appalled in the US. The tabloids in Britain would go mad. The electorate in Germany would be dumbfounded. But in France no one seems to care.

And that is why we are preparing a bid to become the next president of France. If the presidency of France can turn François Hollande into an attractive man, it must be the most powerful aphrodisiac ever found.  True, the next election is not for a couple years. And true, too, that we will probably not get a place on the ballot. But we will count on you, dear reader. We will expect your "write in" vote to put us over the top. 

Confident of your support, we'll begin saving our money to buy a scooter. 



The above article is from Diary of a Rogue Economist originally written for Bonner & Partners.

Bill Bonner founded Agora, Inc in 1978. It has since grown into one of the largest independent newsletter publishing companies in the world. He has also written three New York Times bestselling books, Financial Reckoning Day, Empire of Debt and Mobs, Messiahs and Markets.





Emigrate While You Can... Learn More




Dear readers - we want to once again thank all of you who have supported us with donations.


To donate Bitcoins, use this address: 1DRkVzUmkGaz9xAP81us86zzxh5VMEhNke


Thank you for your support!

One Response to “Announcing Our Newest Campaign for Public Office”

Your comment:

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Most read in the last 20 days:

  • testa-e-collo-di-cesareWhy Do We Let Other People Tell Us What to Do?
      Lame Theories of Government We have been disappointed with political ideas and theories of government. They are nothing but scams, justifications, and puffery. One tries to put something over on the common man… the other claims it was for his own good… and the third pretends that he’d be lost without it. Most are not really “theories” at all… but prescriptions, blueprints for creating the kind of government the “theorist” would like to have. Not surprisingly, it is a...
  • goldmine-700x360Gold and Gold Stocks – Back to Tricky, but Interesting Signals Emerge
      A Relentless Short Term Decline When we last discussed the gold sector, we noted that with gold approaching its 200 day moving average, a pullback had to be expected soon. In the meantime, a bit more than just a pullback has happened, as a severe sell-off started after the October FOMC announcement.   Photo via   However, as you will see below, this has most likely merely reset the clock a bit in terms of anticipating a medium term trend change (even if...
  • MponengGold and Gold Stocks – It Gets Even More Interesting
      Technical Backdrop If only we could get a dime for every bearish article on gold that has been published over the past two weeks...but one can't have everything. When a market is down 83% like the HUI gold mining index is, we are generally more interested in trying to find out when it might turn around, since it is a good bet that it is “oversold”. Of course, it if makes it to 90% down, it will still be a harrowing experience in the short term. We like these catastrophes because...
  • resultThe Greatest Racket of All Time
      The Successes of the Global War on Terror One would think that the so-called “Global War on Terror”, which has been given fresh impetus by the Paris attacks, must be going swimmingly. What else could explain the great enthusiasm with which it is pursued? It may be recalled that it started in earnest after the WTC attack – also a declaration of war, as it was put at the time. As is often the case when Islamist fundamentalists strike, the actual attackers immolated themselves on...
  • winterThe Long, Cold Winter Ahead
      Not Immune Cold winds of deflation gust across the autumn economic landscape.  Global trade languishes and commodities rust away like abandoned scrap metal with a visible dusting of frost.  The economic optimism that embellished markets heading into 2015 have cooled as the year moves through its final stretch.   Photo credit: David Byrne   If you recall, the popular storyline since late last year has been that the U.S. economy is moderately improving while the...
  • santaHow Do People Destroy Their Capital?
      There is no Santa Claus I have written previously about the interest rate, which is falling under the planning of the Federal Reserve. The flip side of falling interest rates is the rising price of bonds. Bonds are in an endless, ferocious bull market. Why do I call it ferocious? Perhaps voracious is a better word, as it is gobbling up capital like the Cookie Monster jamming tollhouses into his maw. There are several mechanisms by which this occurs, let’s look at one...
  • oil rigJunk Bonds Under Pressure
      While the Stock Market is Partying ... There are seemingly always “good reasons” why troubles in a sector of the credit markets are supposed to be ignored – or so people are telling us, every single time. Readers may recall how the developing problems in the sub-prime sector of the mortgage credit market were greeted by officials and countless market observers in the beginning in 2007.   Photo credit: Getty Images   At first it was assumed that the most highly...
  • I'll have TurkeyThe Plane Incident in Syria
      A Strange Event The topic of the SU-24 Russian plane shot down by Turkey over the weekend in Syria has been discussed all over the media ad nauseam by now, but we want to add a few observations and suggestions of our own. Some have perhaps not received the attention they possibly deserve.   Image of Russian jet shortly after it was hit by a Turkish missile. Luckily someone was promptly at hand to make a qualitatively acceptable video of the incident. As is well known, cameramen...
  • Young-European-Jihadists-ChappatteAngry Belgian Muslims and the Price of Welfare Statism
      Ill-Tempered Mohammedans in the Socialist Paradise In the wake of recent revelations about the identities of the morons involved in the horrific Paris attacks (happily, most of them shuffled off the mortal coil as well, thereby improving the aggregate degree of moral clarity and intelligence in the world), a friend pointed us to an article at Unz Review that asks: “Why Does Belgium Have Such Angry Muslims?” Our instinctive, immediate reaction was to argue that the bland, boring...
  • Chart-intraday averageCan Investors Trust the New Gold Fixing?
      Statistical Analysis of the New Gold Fixing   Since 20 March 2015 a new gold price fixing organized by the London Bullion Market Association has been in operation. It has replaced the previous price determination process, which was in place for more than a century and became subject to criticism as it was highly vulnerable to manipulation. Has manipulation now ceased?   Gold fixing at N.M. Rothchild and Sons offices in London. The first fixing took place there on 12 September...

Support Acting Man




Own physical gold and silver outside a bank

Realtime Charts


Gold in USD:

[Most Recent Quotes from]



Gold in EUR:

[Most Recent Quotes from]



Silver in USD:

[Most Recent Quotes from]



Platinum in USD:

[Most Recent Quotes from]



USD - Index:

[Most Recent USD from]


THE GOLD CARTEL: Government Intervention on Gold, the Mega Bubble in Paper and What This Means for Your Future

Buy Silver Now!
Buy Gold Now!